Fantitlement

Fantitlement

/fanˈtītlmənt/ Noun 1. The false belief of fans that their passion and dedication to a person or intellectual property grants them rights and privileges.

A few days ago I put my beautiful fiancée on a plane back to Ohio after a great trip out to California to the annual geek gathering known as Comic-Con (the Comic-Con, not one of the many posers who’ve tacked it onto their convention name in recent years). While I could write a stirring and exciting blog entry about our road trip (twice!) from almost coast-to-coast and our adventures at the convention itself … I’m not gonna. It was the very first trip of its kind that Nikki and I enjoyed and I’m going to save some of those stories for a more personal level. However, one event happened a few times that kind of weirded my intended out:

People asked for my autograph.

Even after the third time my scribble was requested on a book, Nikki said “That’s just so weird.” She comes from outside the world of fandom and conventions, and knows me mostly as a friend, a father, a fair cook, excellent-if-speedy driver, and terrifying karaoke performer. So the idea of a total stranger finding value on my autograph comes out of left field in her brain.

Now don’t get me wrong. I have zero illusions that I’m “famous” in any sense of the word. Even in my own industry (tabletop games) my name ranks pretty low on the list. But I’ve been a part of some pretty exciting things in my own circles and I’m really grateful to have some real fans of my work or my writing. An autograph request is like seeing a favorable customer review on Amazon, a nice piece of validation beyond the paycheck.

Felicia Day & Liz Chambers

Felicia Day & Liz Chambers

My daughter Liz described her “weird” fan moment with me from Dragon*Con last year. We were walking through the autograph area for the actual-celebrity guests so I could introduce my kids to my friend Felicia Day (more on her in a minute), and a man said, “Excuse me, but aren’t you Jamie Chambers?” It turns out he was a gamer, a follower of mine on Twitter, and was hoping I could sign his game book. Wide-eyed, Liz said, “That was the most random thing ever!” after we had said our farewells. It was a nice moment, a chance encounter that was nothing but polite and pleasant.

But there is a dark side to all of this, and I’m giving it a word: Fantitlement

Thoughts on this phenomenon were triggered by Wil and Anne Wheaton, mentioning a fan who’d camped out at the airport with a stack of 8 x 10 photos, fully expecting Wil to sign them. After all, one might assume this guy is thinking, he had taken the time and trouble to be right there where Wil would be—outside of the long lines or crowded atmosphere of an official signing or convention. Score, right? Wrong. Wil talked about this in a blog post a few years ago, relating an experience at Comic-Con where he was mobbed by fans who became literally angry when he didn’t reward them for camping out and waiting for him.

At Comic-Con I asked a friend what she was up to that evening. She mentioned walking the hall, visiting Nerd HQ, and stalking Matt Smith. “Oh cool—wait, what?” This young lady explained that there were large groups planning to follow the Doctor Who actor around and would even be using the power of Twitter to assist each other and report in on his whereabouts. I’m pretty sure the sour face I made confused her, as this seemed to her like a perfectly normal thing to do.

My perspective is so different I can only guess at the thinking here, but my best stab at goes like this: Comic-Con is perhaps the biggest geek-related event of the year and most attendees saved and planned and anticipated, and one of the real thrills is celebrity sightings or moments of interaction. They traveled to San Diego to see Matt Smith or Wil Wheaton or Felicia Day or whomever and any legal activities related to this goal are fair game. To the fans, their level of caring and effort grant them a sense of ownership, fan entitlement, or my spiffy new word: fantitlement *

I’m not accusing my anonymous friend—or 99% of fans out there—of doing anything too pushy or creepy. Most are enthusiastic but otherwise kind and respectful. Even those just trying to catch a glimpse of their idol aren’t really causing harm. It’s the ones who truly believe their efforts should be rewarded and reciprocated, that their love of someone creates an obligation on the object of their attention, when the line is crossed.

For many years I worked for a best-selling author and witnessed first-hand how book and game fans behaved. We enjoyed some brief moments of unsettling crazy over the years, but it wasn’t until my friendship and association with Felicia Day that I witnessed just how intense it can be on the celebrity side of the equation.

I met Felicia just as her star was beginning to rise, and Comic-Con that year I walked her around the hall for some shopping. (She was looking for some dice for her weekly D&D game, which should partially explain why we hit it off right away.) A few people smiled or waved in recognition, but we weren’t accosted or obstructed nor did we have anyone follow us around. But in subsequent years I shared my San Diego booth with The Guild and we hosted cast autograph sessions in our booth. Each year making sure Felicia could make her retreat for her next appointment, or even just to get back to her hotel, was a bigger logistical issue. Our team made sure someone escorted Felicia where she needed to go, and sometimes she took to wearing a “disguise” (read: low-brim hat and big sunglasses) to cut down the instant-recognition factor. If she tried to meet every single request given to her at a convention-sized event, she’d never be able to go anywhere or do anything.

Hopefully Felicia will forgive me using her as my prime example here, but knowing her is where a lot of my viewpoint on this issue comes from. Last year we had both Felicia and Wil Wheaton as our guests at the Origins Game Fair. It was an absolute blast to host them at our (GAMA‘s) convention. And it was here we encountered both a good and bad example of fan-interaction.

The Bad: My friend Jennifer and I took Felicia over to the North Market in Columbus to score some barbecue, ice cream, and coffee (in that order, as these things are important). We found a rare downstairs table empty and sat down to enjoy our meal. While we chowed down on some pulled pork, a guy holding a point-and-shoot camera approached. “Hey, um, do you mind if I get a picture of you?” I spoke up on her behalf, because I was used to handling fans in our booth, and I didn’t want to make her the bad guy. “We’re eating,” I replied. “Felicia has an autograph session scheduled in just over an hour and you can see her and get a photo there. Thank you.” He pestered, and I said no while Felicia gave an apologetic smile and backed me up with a reminder that she would be signing and doing photos soon. “Well … ” the guy countered, offering a shit-eating grin, “Can I take a photo of you eating?” Ms. Day rightfully was having none of that. “That’s creepy, dude!” she said. I less politely told the guy to get lost, which he did.

The Good: One of my perks at Origins was getting to take our guests to the last dinner of the weekend. We hit a bar and grill right across from the convention center and got a table. Amid discussion of fried sauerkraut balls, games, and the movie Bring It On Again, the waitress came over and said, “Someone here at the bar is buying your table a round. He doesn’t want me to point him out.” We smiled and totally took him up on it, and then raised our glasses in a loud toast to our faceless benefactor, and scanned the room knowing that one of the eyes we met had to be our guy. That was a cool moment, something genuinely nice for our guests, that we all shared in, that didn’t violate the space and privacy of our meal.

Celebrity cook and nerd demigod Alton Brown is a local here in the North Atlanta area. I’m a huge admirer of his, having been a ridiculously loyal viewer of Good Eats and owner of his cookbooks and plunger-style measuring cups. I met him purely in a fan capacity twice—at the Chicago Museum of Science & Industry and a local bookstore here in the Atlanta area. I stood in line, shook his hand, got my autograph, and moved on. Here’s the kicker: My ex-wife used to work at a restaurant at which Mr. Brown used to take his family for dinner once every six weeks or so. She’d take the calls for his reservation, so she knew exactly where and when he’d be, and told me about it. But I never gave the thought of “accidentally” being there while he was more than a passing thought. The guy was having dinner with his family, not there to offer me a memory.

I’m glad my instincts were correct on this one. Mr. Brown is kind and gracious to his fans, but he’s had enough difficult experiences that inspired his own blog about the subject, the Fanifesto in which he explains the Dos and Don’ts from his own point of view. One of the most important notions is to allow his family to retain their privacy, and he asks for some common-sense courtesy if you encounter him out in the “real world.”

Here’s my advice to fans struggling with feelings of fantitlement, and the key word here is respect:

  1. Respect the timing. If you want an autograph, do your best to take care of that at an official signing or other event. The person you want to meet is there to meet you at that moment! It may not make you feel special, but remember by attending that event you’re respecting that person’s intentions and time.
  2. Respect their schedule. Do not interrupt someone as he or she is trying to get from one place to another. If you see the object of your fandom walking briskly from Point A to an unknown Point B, you’re only causing problems for everyone if you disrupt the journey. We’re all on schedules, you know.
  3. Respect personal space. Stay a full pace away unless invited in for a picture. Don’t crowd, don’t ask for a hug, or do anything that would get you tased out in the real world.
  4. Respect their privacy. Do not disrupt someone who is eating, drinking, is on the phone, using the bathroom, reading a book, or anything else that deserves a moment of peace. Seriously.

It’s awesome that you love a book series, TV show, movie, writer, or actor so much. I’m certain they appreciate your patronage and admiration. Don’t screw it up by letting a sense of fantitlement get the better of you. And, in the words of Mr. Wheaton*, don’t be a dick.

 * Even a casual search shows that I wasn’t the first person to come up with this portmanteau, but I’m seizing its use for this blog anyway.
** This was written on Wil Wheaton’s birthday. Happy birthday, Wil! And Happy Don’t Be a Dick Day, everyone!

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22 Responses to Fantitlement

  1. Katy July 29, 2013 at 4:46 pm #

    This is so unbelievably true. And it makes me sad to see it happen. I’ve escorted those people around before – to private bathrooms(read: utility closet), to panels, to signings – and the number of douchenozzles who come up to us that I had to turn down because, ‘hello!, we have someplace to be!’, well it was ridiculous.

    As a fan myself, I count myself as extremely lucky to see someone I truly admire walk past me, to be that close, to see them as a person and not as a character/creator. BUT I don’t engage, unless they are welcoming it. A quick glance will tell you. If they are open, a quick “thank you for being here” is all I’ll say. Being that close is to be reminded they are just like us – and I treat them as such.

  2. Chris Meadows July 29, 2013 at 5:06 pm #

    The amazing thing is, in many cases if you want to interact with an object of your infatuation in a meaningful way, often all you have to do is ask ahead of time in a calm, professional manner.

    For example, for a while I did call-in talk show podcasts on TalkShoe.com pertaining to books, and to the Robotech fandom. In both cases I got to interview some really famous people (Diane Duane! Peter S. Beagle! Carl Macek!) and you know how I did it?

    I just asked, politely, and worked around their schedules to make the shows at times convenient to them. That’s all it took. Some people declined my request, of course, but an amazing number didn’t. And a podcast interview, with me talking to these people and them talking to me set down in perpetuity for the whole world to hear is a hell of a lot more meaningful than someone’s scribble in a book that only I will ever get to see.

    I’m still amazed that all I had to do was ask.

  3. Mercedes Lackey July 29, 2013 at 5:18 pm #

    At DragonCon we try not to leave our autograph table until we have signed EVERY person’s book. Sorry, but when the line is stretching all the way out the door and down the hall, this means that we don’t get to sit down and have a half an hour talk with you. And yet, every year, there are people who bitch and moan and complain because I “Just signed my name and didn’t talk to them and didn’t even look up.” Dude, you liar, I had to look up at least to see your badge, then ask if that was how you wanted your book signed. And by the way, I’m hurrying because in 10 minutes this elderly 63 year old has to negotiate across three hotels to get to my reading. You know, so OTHER people get to hear me.

    • Jamie July 29, 2013 at 7:50 pm #

      Mercedes: In my many years of attending, and then working conventions I’ve only seen a a very few instances of authors or celebrity guests who were rude or discourteous to their fans. But it’s so easy for excitement to become a sense of entitlement … and these folks don’t seem to care about the length of the line or your time. Thank you for coming to Atlanta each year and giving that personal interaction with your fans, however brief it sometimes might be out of necessity. And thanks for visiting my page!

  4. Brian Kameoka July 29, 2013 at 6:37 pm #

    You, Doug Luberts, Kim Evey, Becker and I are probably part of a scant handful of people who can claim to have “walked the floor in search of dice” with Felicia. It’s just no longer possible, right? Hope to see you at Dragon*Con where I can bug you for an autograph.

    • Jamie July 29, 2013 at 7:52 pm #

      Brian: We, the few, the proud Day Dice Diviners are an elite squad indeed. It’s hard to imagine her walking the SDCC floor with any kind of peace these days. I wonder if the secret would be putting her in a Codex costume so that folks would be convinced she was simply cosplaying.

      And yes, I’ll be at Dragon*Con and have a seat for your in my karaoke booth anytime you wanna stop by! My autograph is worth precisely the paper it’s printed on. So bring a twenty.

      • Bambi July 30, 2013 at 12:30 pm #

        At any convention, if you want to remain incognito, wear a Stormtropper costume.

        • Jamie July 30, 2013 at 12:32 pm #

          Nikki & Linz are convinced that Tom Hiddleston walked the floor wearing his Loki costume, and no one mobbed him because they thought it was just a REALLY GOOD cosplay.

  5. Mike Dougherty July 30, 2013 at 12:18 pm #

    Thank you for putting a word to this! I think there’s a fine line that is too easily blurred by fans because they feel like these celebrities are a part of their life OR they see an opportunity to make a buck on ebay. It’s why I only ask for an autograph at the place where the author/artist/actor(ress)/etc is set up to give them and I have it personalize because I really don’t want to sell this memory. Outside of that, the best way I’ve heard that celebrities want to be treated was from Erick Avari at Dragon*Con who said, paraphrasing, “You wouldn’t walk up to your local plumber and bother him when he is in public to praise him for the job he did in your kitchen, would you? It’s the same for celebrities. There’s a time and place.”

  6. Rebochan July 30, 2013 at 2:00 pm #

    You know, I try to be as kind as possible to these folks. I just attended my first Comic Con and while wandering the floor realized I’d bumped into Steve Purcell. After my initial shock of seeing an idol passed, I gathered all my courage and simply told him “I’m a huge fan of your work.”

    And then I told him I wouldn’t bother him for anything else.

    I’m sure I sounded a bit awkward, but I firmly believe that if I meet these folks on the floor like that, it’d be great to not drive them crazy.

  7. Jada Hope Diaz July 30, 2013 at 3:02 pm #

    Very well written, Jamie.

    And I remember your karaoke skills! :-O

  8. Tom Galloway July 30, 2013 at 5:28 pm #

    Here’s the core concept which you don’t quite state.

    “There’s one of the celebrity. There are many of their fans.” As a result, from the fan’s point of view, it’s an individual interaction. From the celebrity’s point of view, it’s part of a string of multiple interactions.

    So, let’s say Ms. Day wants to walk the dealer’s area. A mere 100 fans see her and each, one at a time, think “Great! A chance to meet Felicia Day and chat with her for a moment when she’s not surrounded by those other [implied less-worthy : -)] fans!”

    Let’s say she’s overly nice and chats with each of these fen for exactly one minute each. Her trip through the dealer’s area just took an hour and 40 minutes longer…but each fan thinks their trip took a whopping minute longer.

    Bump up the number to 600. At a minute per, that’s 10 hours…or the entire time the Comic-Con dealer’s area is open.

    It’s not that it’s you taking “just a moment of your time”. It’s that large multiples of people like you are taking up those moments…and it adds up for the celebrity.

    [Writing from experience; I’ve been Neil Gaiman’s handler at a con, and have met and chatted with a large number of celebrities from multiple areas. In fairness, it is possible, or at least used to be, to run into folk in situations where they’re happy to talk for a bit; for example, I once ran into Will Eisner while walking to Comic-Con and ended up having a pleasant 5-10 minute chat with him although he didn’t know me from Adam. But if at any point he’d indicated he wanted it to end/he had places to be, I would’ve politely said good-bye. And, long story, I was once asked to show Salman Rushdie around my then workplace and ended up having dinner with him and his signing tour escort. Being aware of the context, and the number of other fans of the person in the vicinity, is often key]

  9. Lori July 30, 2013 at 10:58 pm #

    Come to Austin, we treat our celebrities like people.

    • Jamie July 30, 2013 at 11:33 pm #

      I’m coming to Austin!

      • Terry RW Whisenant February 13, 2014 at 12:47 pm #

        He did! He did come to Austin, and hopefully will come back next year too for ChupacabraCon!

  10. Michele July 31, 2013 at 11:08 pm #

    I feel like I saw just this sort of behavior last year. My fiance and I attended our very first Dragon Con last year. We arrived Thursday afternoon and after settling in to our room decided to wander around and familiarize ourselves with the area. That evening while in the lobby of the Marriott Marquis we noticed some excited murmuring and commotion not 20 feet from us. We look over only to see Felicia Day, right there, apparently just arrived as far as we can tell. My fiance asks if I’d like to go over and say Hello, but we decided against it partly because I was overcome with a fit of shyness but mostly because she was already getting mobbed and I didn’t want to add to that. Unfortunately I didn’t get the chance to meet with her at any other point in the convention (too much to see first time there) as when we finally found the autograph room they’d capped the line for her table. But, maybe this year we’ll get it together. Good news was although I didn’t get a chance to see Felicia and the rest of The Guild, I did get to have a nice chance with Erin Gray who was at the next table over and was free at that moment. Incidental win!

  11. Paul (Drak Bibliophile) Howard August 1, 2013 at 12:31 pm #

    IMO much of what you said is common curiosity, but like “common sense”, it’s not that common. [Frown]

    • Paul (Drak Bibliophile) Howard August 1, 2013 at 12:43 pm #

      Grumble Grumble.

      That should have been “courtesy” not “curiosity”. [Frown]

  12. sheelagh August 8, 2013 at 6:51 pm #

    As a Browncoat, I struggle with the urge to strangle some of my fellow fandom members on a regular basis. Some we know just don’t seem to understand that when their fave celebrity is out and about, it’s best to just smile and nod and go on your way. Their sense of entitlement “because the person wouldnt be famous without fans like me” drives me batty!

    There’s a time and place to ask your favourite celebrity for their autograph or photo. Sure, they involve long lines and lots of hopping from foot to foot (& $$ too) but that’s when it’s appropriate. Not when they’re eating or trying to go about their day-to-day lives.

    As a representative of our nonprofit, I’m incredibly grateful when people like Felicia, Wil or Nathan make special arrangements to sign items to donate to our charitable causes. But these amazing opportunities have also exposed us to the ugly side of fandom and what these wonderful and generous souls have to put up with on a regular basis. What it does do is make me work extra hard on my smile & nod in the hopes they’ll be able to find a tiny bit of peace if I cross their path outside of a convention line.

  13. Jen August 8, 2013 at 8:15 pm #

    Thanks for writing this Jamie, it’s a really good piece. Having friends in the convention business here in Australia and having been involved in a “behind the scenes-ish” way in the Firefly fandom, I’ve seen and heard some pretty awful stories of “fantitlement” and creepy fan behaviour… so much so that I now feel very uncomfortable even interacting with guests at the “proper” occasions like autograph signings. Thankfully, I’ve been fortunate though to have some time with people I admire but it’s always been on their terms and I can’t imagine it any other way.

  14. Tari August 11, 2013 at 11:21 pm #

    Howevermuch I totally see, understand, and buy into the common sense of this article, I can’t help but feel a little insulted by it. Like what, we’re all a bunch of knuckle-dragging idjits that don’t have a shred of comportment?

    I’m not an ‘autograph’ person. I’ve never understood the value of a signature on a piece of paper or photo. Now, if it’s something the person CREATED, like a book or sketch or even a script, because yes, they did help bring that work to life, so cool, then neato, but that’s it.

    That said, I do love my geek world, and those that help create it, but I’ll gladly stand in line to shake the hand or be able to have a moment with someone I’m a fan of. Mostly I just want to tell them how wonderful they are, then move on. What else are we gonna discuss?

    So no, I’m not that person that inserts themselves into inappropriate situations. And there are a lot of us out there too, like the guy who bought the round of drinks. We just wanna say hey… but not when you’re peeing (gross).

    So relax.

    • Jamie August 12, 2013 at 12:42 pm #

      As I said in the article, those that aren’t ambushing the celebrities or being inappropriate aren’t part of the problem. It’s the asshats who say, “If you didn’t want this, you shouldn’t have sought out fame” that really bother me. Common courtesy shouldn’t disappear with fandom, and my problem is ONLY with the folks who think that it should.

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